have you passed through this night?

and so i had my final practical test today and i failed, dashing hopes of mine, but strengthening myself saying that i'll be successful the next time round. so as i held my test paper on the way home, i thought about things for a while. i've always failed the first time whenever i'm doing something pretty major, which is not exactly something to be proud about. some of the things which i've failed the first time,

• 'o' levels. almost failed again the second time round which would have definitely knocked me off course, rendering me into a lazy ass bum. but thank god for the C6 in maths.

• my relationship with lin. maybe it was already fated that we would eventually go our separate ways. it was evident towards the dying days of the relationship we had that things weren't exactly going the right way. she was indeed the first, and most likely the last because this is a failure i'm not ready to ever, ever take any form of plunges again. i'm just going to leave it at that, and learn from the mistakes i've committed that she has brought up, time and time again. i know i have to learn it in the hardest way. without her.

it is true that our relationship, regardless of friends, has already soured beyond the state of repair. we've tried our best, or rather, she's tried her very best. but i didn't try hard enough.

i've failed time and time again and somehow i wish to put a stop to it in some way i could manage, but maybe that time would take a long time to come.

so i guess this time, i won't be able to drive in time for hari raya. but it doesn't mean i won't be able to drive at all. i just wish for the best in the next attempt, and i hope whoever reads this, shares the same sentiments.

farhan.

i got hit on by someone (haha i wonder who) to do this 'meme' thing, which i think sounds like something that comes out from a muffy duck. HAHA.

So this, very tiny picture right here is my desktop.hoho, not very exciting. basically the wallpaper's the most interesting apple-themed wallpaper i've seen on flickr in a while and i really liked it. ever since i  couldn't find anything nicer. it says 'fortress' at the left of the logo, haha i have no idea why.

My icons, yes my icons. hahaha on the right, is everything that i'm currently doing. my habit with saving things is that i like to save it on the desktop before i put it anywhere that it's supposed to be, so i can find it quick because even though this computer has spotlight, i've never used it more than 20 times.

the folders on the left are camera manuals, production notes yadayadayada whatever files, pictures or documents involved that's similar in topic and comes in a big bunch.

The stickies? haha, current ongoing project for 8 minutes. still in progress :)

hahaha  i don't really have anyone to tag this to because no one reads it :(

http://www.mediafire.com/?bxxj4diozhx


hardcore days & softcore nights : aqueduct
back in the u.s.s.r. : the beatles
in the mausoleum : beirut
kaura : beware of safety
hyperballad (brodsky quartet) : bjórk
iron lion zion : bob marley
viva la vida : coldplay
a sudden rush : erlend øye
gatekeeper : feist
truth don die : femi kuti
falling slowly : glen hansard and markéta irglová
mwana wamai dada naye : hallelujah chicken run band
the girl from back then (riton's uber jazz mix) : kings of convenience
nosebleed : maximo park
kau dan aku : nidji
kid a : radiohead
starálfur : sigur rós
i could lose ya : stereophonics

so yes you may presume that i am a man with too many genres to boot, but in fact i really do listen and actually like all these songs, as proven from the very healthy play count list on my itunes, and all these songs have crossed the 25th time mark, unlike some people who haven't even listened to what they have. in my words, i'd place this mixtape into the kind of feeling that'll kickstart your day in the morning with a good dose of african afrobeat and tribal folk tunes along with the dynamic british rock hailing from the beatles and stereophonics. after the morning, it'll take you on an afternoon leisure trip with bob marley, maximo park, erlend øye and a touch of the regional indie band nidji. as the hours linger into the end of the day, coldplay and feist will take you down a gear to slow down, then into an oscar winning song from the once soundtrack as well as a smooth jazz remix of kings of convenience. after slowing down into a teetering stop, we drift into some post-rock from sigur rós and beware of safety and then finish it off and take your life into a calming standstill with the spacey melody of kid a from radiohead.

it's like a mood clock.

i can't believe i wrote all that shit. sounds like a fucking recipe.



if only we all could still be this happy. genuinely happy without a care in the world.